Fledglings are feathered and capable of hopping or flitting, with toes that can tightly grip your finger or a twig. These are young birds that have just left the nest, and can’t fly yet, but are still under the care of their parents, and do not need our help. Most of the baby birds people find are fledglings. So, sorry if I totally ticked you off or something.The first thing to do is to figure out if the baby bird is a nestling or a fledgling. I just think there are some things to learn from it. I hope you don't take any of this as rude, because I'm really not trying to be, I didn't hate it, I liked it. Poems have to either follow a pattern, or be completely random with absolutely no chance at finding a pattern, and unfortunately, this just kind of makes us ask, "What?" I think you did well putting us in the "Dream" though I would have liked to have the answers I asked in the first stanza answered. Overall: #0040FF ">Ok, so above I went through and outlined the whole rhyming problem. The writing is fine, I just have a personal grudge towards dream endings. haha no offense at all but it just makes me feel like I wasted my time in a world that was only a dream. I don't know but when I read this aloud it just kind of throws me off.īut it's only a dream. #BF0000 ">Well, now we have 6 lines, rhyming scheme is ABBBB. #FF0000 ">5 lines still, and the last line is kind of awkward to read. Rhyming scheme is now kind of ABCCB, but I don't think free can rhyme with itself. The rhyming scheme is now ABCC, and I really want to know what the pain is, but you have never told us! So it looks like your favorite rhyme to do is AABB, but now your throwing an extra line in. Beyond that, there is suddenly 5 lines instead of 4 which throws the flow off a little, and then the rhyming scheme was changed to ABBCC. #FF0000 ">This to me was a really confusing stanza, particularly because of the last line, it doesn't fit. #FF0000 ">Now your back to AABBĪll you need to know. The rhyming again changes, now you are going ABAB. #FF0000 ">I've given up on the confusion. Your now going AABBĪnd below sweeping shores. I don't know it just seems like an odd transition. #FF0000 ">First off, I'm kinda confused here. #FF0000 ">This stanza is good, and you followed the previous ABCB pattern that you established in the previous stanza. In the first stanza the rhyming pattern went ABBC in this stanza it went ABCB.Īnd their own silent fate. #FF0000 ">And here is where the biggest problem starts. #FF0000 ">Alright, good starting, makes your reader wonder why you would fly away and what is so dear. I know i should have explained earlier.ĭeep in my heart. ![]() I don't correct my dream-poems, because dreams aren't perfect. I appreciate the reminding, though and I really should have explained this before my poem. ![]() I know it's cleche but, really, who cares? You're supposed to write from your heart, right? I like to do things in a bit of an "off" way when I want them to match my dreams. I don't really like proper rhyming sequences either, I think they're too ordinary. This actually was a dream, so I didn't correct it. I haven't replied to anyone because I figured eventually people would stop reminding me to keep a proper rhyming technique (ABAB, AABB, etc) but it seems like everyone's telling me the same thing. As a result, there were alot of things I wanted to correct but didn't. I saw the words in my head and felt like I needed to write them down. I know it sounds weird but I dreamed this poem. Figured I should start explaining things as people seen not to like my rhyming style.
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